PREFACE: This blog might freak out some of my fellow traditionalists.
Recently I have experienced incredible break through in worship. As many of you know I was raised Lutheran. This means that, for me, worship entailed sitting in pews (never the front row) and singing from a hymnal while the organ and handbells guided us along. There was no raising of the hands, crying out to god, praying to god in groups, etc. Am I right?
Recently, I have learned some new things about worship through Discipleship school. There is a difference between worship and praise. Praise is upwards facing, adoration of God, and a celebration. Worship is downward, reverent, and submission to God. I think that my Lutheran upbringing taught me how to worship. They taught me the value in being reverent and submissive to God our heavenly father. I am so thankful for this.
However, like many I found myself caught up in religion. I was a slave to my church. I placed my identity in religion not my heavenly father. During D-school a young man named Brenton came in and taught us the many different biblical ways of worship. At the end of his talk he challenged us to look at the handout and try to engage a form of worship that we had never tried before.
My immediate response was to shut down and refuse to participate. I went home that night and read John 6:16-21 (read it right now if you can). It is the infamous story of Jesus walking on water. I have read this story probably 3,000,000,000,000,000 but this time it was different. Two things stuck out to me:
1.) The disciples were afraid. I love this!!!! The disciples didn't have it all together. they didn't automatically accept the things that Jesus was doing. Jesus walking on water scared them. This encouraged me. I related it to my struggles with worship. When people yell in worship or dance and do all those crazy things it scares me. I feel fear but so did the disciples.
2.) Jesus SAW their fear and simply responded saying "It is I. Do not be afraid." He didn't condemn them, he consoled them. I feel like Jesus is the same way with me and my fears. He sees that I am afraid and it doesn't upset Him.
So after this revelation, I decided I would pick the thing on the list that scares me the most -- shouting in worship. The worship form Shabach is found in the Bible. Shabach means to praise the Lord with a shout and a loud voice. I spent several hours asking the Lord if this was of Him or not and came to the conclusion that it was.
The next day during worship I praised God using Shabach. It was a breakthrough for me. After all these years being bound by religion I felt so free to worship the Lord. I Shouted thanks to the Lord and i will never be the same. At the end of the day, worship is about the Lord. It is not about pleasing man or fulfilling some selfish need; it is about giving the Lord what is rightfully his.
I urge you brothers and sisters praise God without restraint for in this you will find freedom at last.
Lots of Love
Katy
"Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall shabach thee." Psalm 63:3
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